Withholding Defining: Why Nothing Changes Until You Stop Defining Yourself | Tommy Thompson Class 108
❝ What if the moment you stop defining yourself… is the first moment you actually feel safe in your own body? ❞
You’ve tried to fix your posture, tried to relax your body, tried to “do it right,” and yet something keeps returning—not because you’re doing it wrong, but because something deeper is being held in place by the way you define yourself.
On April 28, 2026, in Boston, Massachusetts, USA, Tommy Thompson led a class in the Alexander Technique teacher training course where this wasn’t approached as an idea, but as something to observe directly. Not through effort or correction, but through a simple shift: Withholding Defining.
The question was not how to change, but whether you could stop deciding what you are—even for a moment.
And in that moment, something began to reorganize. The breath changed without being directed, the face softened without being adjusted, and a different sense of safety started to appear—not imposed, but discovered.
This is where change begins—not by doing more, but by interfering less.
In the Alexander Technique, this is not something you apply, but something you allow—a condition in which the organism can respond rather than comply.
Key Objectives of the Class:
- To explore how Withholding Defining creates a shift in the autonomic nervous system without direct intervention
- To recognize the face as a real-time reflection of the whole pattern of self-use
- To understand how a soft interruption allows habitual patterns to reorganize without force
- To develop the capacity to sense experience before attempting to change it
This blog series is based on Tommy Thompson’s Alexander Technique classes. Each post follows the flow and insights of the class to expand both self-awareness and practical consciousness applicable to everyday life.
New here?
If you’re new to the Alexander Technique, you can start with the resources below.
Alexander Technique Class Flow at a Glance
1. The Opening Question
❝ When you look at your face right now, would you trust that person enough to take them into your day? ❞
You don’t usually ask this. You look in the mirror, adjust, and move on. But what if that face is already revealing how you are organizing yourself right now?
In this class, Tommy didn’t ask anyone to change. He asked whether you feel safe being with that person for the rest of your day. Most people hesitate, not dramatically but quietly. Something feels slightly held, slightly guarded.
This is where withholding defining begins, not by changing yourself but by stopping the need to decide what you are.
Instead of fixing, you pause defining. And in that pause, something shifts, not because you did something, but because you stopped reinforcing the same pattern.
Tommy’s Word
“Take a look at your face—do you feel safe going into the rest of your day with the facial expression you have right now? If you don’t, keep withholding defining yourself…”
“You’re not trying to fix anything.”
In the Alexander Technique, you don’t correct the system. You stop interfering with it. The face is not the problem. It reflects how the whole system is being used.
Can you stay with yourself without defining what you are, and see what changes on its own?
2. Core Learnings from This Class
Core Concepts
- Withholding Defining creates the condition for change
Change does not begin with correction, but with the suspension of definition. When you stop deciding what you are, the system is no longer organized around that identity, and something new can emerge. - The face reflects the whole pattern of behavior
The facial expression is not separate from the body; it reveals how the entire system is being used, including levels of safety, tension, and responsiveness. - Change happens through non-interference
Attempting to fix reinforces the existing pattern. When interference is reduced, the organism begins to reorganize on its own. - A soft interruption reorganizes the system
Rather than forcing change, a subtle interruption shifts the direction of the nervous system, allowing new coordination to arise over time. - Sensing is the gateway to transformation
A pattern cannot change unless it is sensed. Direct kinesthetic awareness allows the individual to recognize and release habitual organization.
Five Key Messages
- Stop deciding what you are.
The moment definition pauses, new possibilities appear. - You are not fixing the system.
You are allowing it to reorganize. - Safety changes everything.
When the system feels safe, coordination shifts naturally. - Less doing reveals more organization.
Reduction of effort exposes underlying support. - Small changes reorganize the whole system.
Subtle shifts create wide-reaching effects over time.
Essential Terms
- Withholding Defining
The act of suspending judgment and identity, allowing the organism to reorganize without being constrained by habitual self-definition. - Soft Interruption
A gentle, non-forceful interruption of habitual patterns that communicates with the system without overriding it. - Autonomic Nervous System
The underlying regulatory system responsible for breathing, coordination, and adaptive response, which reorganizes when interference is reduced. - Pattern of Behavior
The habitual way the organism organizes itself in action; it cannot change unless it is first sensed. - Kinesthetic Sense
The internal sensory capacity to perceive one’s own movement and state, serving as the primary gateway for change in the Alexander Technique.
3. Tommy’s Insights
In Tommy’s words during class, there are not only the core principles of the Alexander Technique, but also practical wisdom that can be applied directly to daily life. His words go beyond simple advice about movement and prompt us to deeply consider how we choose to exist.1. “You’re not really focusing on the facial expression, but it’s an expression of how you’re feeling, what you’re noting, etc. And if you really get good at it—and we will get good at it in here—when you take a look at the person’s face, you’ll see every single aspect of a person’s body reflecting the predominant aspect of their face.”
➤ The face reveals the whole pattern of self-use.
2. “You go to sleep—take a look at your face and keep withholding defining. If you feel unsafe going to sleep with the person that you’re looking at, withhold defining yourself until you find a different expression, until you feel safe looking at the person you see in the mirror and take that person to bed. When you wake up in the morning—do you feel safe, given what your plans are for the day?”
➤ Change begins when definition is withheld.
3. “It’s the difference between focusing on doing as opposed to focusing on being in support while you do—being and doing.” And again, you have specific muscle fiber that is designed to facilitate that, and you have a specific fiber that is designed to pick up when you screw up—that behaves like the being fiber, but it’s not.
➤ Being organizes doing.
4. “What is your experience in yourself now?” Anyway, the question of your observation, or what you want to say, should come after they themselves have told you what their experience is, because it may change what you say. You want to reinforce what they’re sensing, not necessarily what you see, even though what you see is real.
➤ Experience precedes observation.
5. “You’re not trying to fix anything.” Yeah, the fact that it won’t go; it will feel like it won’t go, but it will happen over time. It’s fixing and communicating with the brain at that moment.
➤ Non-interference allows change.
6. “This is a soft interruption. The Alexander Technique is a soft interruption.” It’s not this. It takes her away from what she’s doing, but I need to softly interrupt what she’s doing, and I’m speaking to the autonomic nervous system now. Now it’s already made its change, and I just hold space for her to experience herself differently. The brain is picking up on this, and the brain is learning, or the brain is being given the opportunity to do what it is designed to do.
➤ Interrupt habit, don’t override it.
7. “You’re communicating with the autonomic nervous system,” and you’re communicating with the systems that support, protect, and keep the person alive, but you’re not trying to fix it. “All you have to do is introduce that fractal change,” and the body will, over time, respond, because you’re giving the autonomic nervous system, the fascial system, and all the systems of the body the opportunity to change.
➤ Small change reorganizes the whole system.
8. “So your pattern of behavior—you’re not going to be able to change it if you can’t sense it.” So you’re guiding the person into sensing themselves.
➤ Sensing is the gateway to change.
4. Practical Tips for Everyday Life
What’s the Goal?
The goal is not to fix yourself, but to change the condition in which you live. In the Alexander Technique, this begins the moment you stop defining what you are doing, how you feel, and how you should be.
You are not trying to improve—you are interrupting what keeps repeating.
How to Practice
- At the mirror
Look at your face and ask: do I feel safe being with this person? If not, don’t change it. Just stop deciding what it means. Stay. - At the computer
Before you begin, stop deciding how you should sit or work. Let go of “doing it right,” and continue while sensing yourself. - While walking
Notice the impulse to control your movement. Don’t follow it. Let the movement continue without defining how it should be.
What You’ll Notice
At first, very little seems to change. Then breathing deepens, tension softens, and your face begins to shift on its own.
Safety appears—not because you created it, but because you stopped interfering.
5. Closing the Class
Key Takeaways
- Change begins when you stop defining yourself.
- You are not fixing the system—you are allowing it to reorganize.
- The face reveals how the whole system is being used.
- Sensing yourself is the doorway to real change.
Core Insights
You cannot change what you keep defining. The moment you decide what is wrong, you organize yourself around that decision. In the Alexander Technique, the shift is more subtle: you pause the definition, and the system begins to respond differently.
The organism already knows how to reorganize—if you stop interfering. This work is not about adding something new, but about removing what keeps repeating. When interference decreases, coordination, breathing, and a sense of safety return on their own.
A Final Invitation
Before you move into your next activity, take a moment and look at yourself—not to evaluate, not to improve, just to see.
Then ask quietly: can I go into this moment while withholding defining what I am?
Stay there. Even briefly.
And notice what begins to change—before you try to change anything.
6. One Key Practice
Right before you begin anything, pause for just a moment. Look at yourself, or sense yourself, and notice the instant impulse to decide how you should sit, how you should move, and how you should be.
Don’t follow it. Don’t change it. Just don’t agree with it.
Stay there, and then continue.
7. Three Questions to Ask Yourself
- Right now, what am I already deciding about myself?
- Can I move forward without agreeing with that decision?
- What happens if I let this moment unfold without defining it?
8. For Those Who Wish to Learn More
Recommended Book
Touching Presence – Tommy Thompson
This book sits at the same place this class points to. It is not about applying a method, but about learning to remain with yourself without rushing to define what you experience.
Withholding Defining appears here not as an idea, but as a lived possibility—one that changes how you sense, relate, and respond.
If this class made you pause, this book will stay with you.
Official Website of Tommy Thompson
www.easeofbeing.com
This is the official website personally managed by Tommy Thompson, offering a wide range of resources and programs to deepen your understanding and practice of the Alexander Technique:
- Private session reservations and inquiries
- Workshop and seminar schedules
- Overview of international teacher training programs
- Essays and articles on the Alexander Technique
9. Next Class Sneak Peek
10. Join the Alexander Technique Journey
Did this class leave a small resonance within you? Feel free to quietly hold it in your heart or share it in just a sentence or two. The comments are always open. Your one simple word may leave a gentle ripple in this ongoing journey.The journey of Resonance Flow continues across social media as well. Let’s continue this journey together.
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